Audacious Freedom Live anywhere. Travel everywhere.

I have just been part of a discussion thread about the experiences people have in moving to a new country. One of the things we were discussing is whether to join an expat group or not when you get to your new country.

The answers to this question intrigued me. Not once in all my travels has joining an expat group from my home country ever crossed my mind. In fact I am probably on the opposite side in that I would get annoyed with people that wanted to keep introducing me to other South Africans. I travelled across the equator to meet and learn about different cultures, not to find a bunch of people from my home country.  I have seen too many foreigners arrive, find an expat group and never grow. They don’t really experience the life that the new country offers – and seem to concentrate more on complaining about what is no longer available or comparing their lifestyles.  I don’t know how to explain it – it just doesn’t appeal to me.

In some places we mixed mostly with locals, in others we seemed to have more international, transient friends. Having a transient lifestyle makes it harder to make friends with locals because they are settled in their way of life and cautious of people that are only around for a while. Locals will have a family network, a friendships dating back to school and university and a work network. Whereas travellers, movers and foreigners  have a lot more in common as they come to grips with the physical and mental demands of setting up home in a new place. They are also more used to the hellos and goodbyes that are part of our lifestyles.

A very good point!

In response to what we were talking about a lovely lady from the Netherlands who has lived in non native speaking or English speaking countries pointed out that expats were an invaluable source of support and information. When we move to a country in which we can speak the language we are at an advantage in terms with connecting with locals and there isn’t really a need to hang out with expats unless that is what is preferred.

However, that is not as easy when you move to a country such as Armenia, Palestine or China. In these countries even trying to decipher street signs can be a challenge let alone going to buy groceries or open a bank account. An expat group then becomes very important to adjusting an adapting to local life. Sometimes these groups can have locals who want to practice their English and befriending them can be invaluable.

Joining an expat group is not an excuse not to enjoy local life.

Joining an expat group in order to survive is smart. Joining an expat group because it is easier and less hassle stops the person from being enriched by the diversity of customs, traditions, food and nationalities of the new country. So take advice, mix and make friends with expats and then learn the local language, meet people, make friends and build up a fun group of friends that make life in the new country exciting, rich and worth being there.

What sparked this post is a thread I was reading on a bloggers experience of the Melbourne comedy festival which took place in Perth earlier this year. This blogger has learnt to speak English and according to her own assessment speaks it well. Yet when it came to understanding stand up comedians and  jokes her English failed her.

However, I don’t think it was her level of English that failed her! I was born into an English speaking family in South Africa. For all intents and purposes I am English – English school, English home life and English university. Yet I could not understand the British comedy shows when we moved to the UK. The comedy fell into three categories – totally annoying with cringe factor, no understanding about the topic and lastly the blank category (they spoke so fast they might as well have spoken a foreign language).

It was so weird watching a movie, a show or a stand up act with locals. They would laugh their heads off and I couldn’t figure out why. I would land up laughing because they were laughing! It was then I learnt that in order to understand comedy you have to have an understanding of the culture. If I wanted to laugh at the joke I needed knowledge of the local area, anecdotes related to the culture and current affairs; often jokes are based on puns and local lingo for example someone mentioned ‘Ann Widdicombe’ – now I get the joke but in the beginning I couldn’t understand why people would crack up laughing at just one name.

After three years of reading newspapers, talking about current affairs and watching two news-related comedy shows I began to find myself laughing at the jokes. However, I still find that in general British jokes or comedies are still way over my head. I thought I would fare better with American comedy but in all honesty it falls into the same three categories as the British ones: totally annoying with cringe factor, no understanding about the topic and lastly the blank category!

Sometimes it can get to a point whether I wonder if I have lost my sense of fun, sense of humour and ability to laugh. Because most of the American slapstick humour that I have seen makes me so irritated I get up and walk out. Yet there are loads of people who think it is the best thing out. I did find it a novel experience going to a live comedy competition by Impromptu in Wellington. This was the first time I have laughed from start to end but then a lot of the jokes were based on human relationships, emotions and day to day living. I could relate to it.

And maybe that is the secret for me! In order to think something is funny I need to be able to relate to it, see the situations potential to be a disaster or embarrassing and hear how the comedian handled it.