Audacious Freedom Live anywhere. Travel everywhere.

In order to make decisions effectively we need an internal mental structure that will provide us with the greatest balance between weighing up the freedom to do what we want and the potential psychological damage as a direct result of that freedom.

However, our ability to build an effective mental structure is compounded by the fact that we have mental resistance in us that started at a very young age. All of us were born into families, into societies, into belief systems each with their own structure and expectations of what is right, wrong, acceptable, unacceptable or to be avoided. We have grown up with rules, restrictions, boundaries and sets of beliefs on behaviour that has set us up to be who we are and where we are today.

Conflicting inner and outer worlds

When our natural inner passion is denied because it doesn’t conform to the external world’s expectations, it is ridiculed until we accept the status quo. We learn to behave and react as those around us expect, hiding our deepest desires below years of anguish, embarrassment and frustration. Our natural passions can be so deeply hidden that we cannot even remember having them. The only hint as adults that our inner and outer world are different is the frustrations, dissatisfaction and the gnawing feeling that there has got to be something more.

In order to break free

Some people have managed to mask this dissatisfaction so well that they are ‘happy’ to float through life from one thing to the next. For others the dissatisfaction will reach a crisis point in which they no longer can deny it. It is at this point that we become very vulnerable and susceptible to making a wild dash for freedom and getting hurt. This emotional pain will reinforce the idea of conforming and once again the inner passion will be hidden, numbing us.

In our state of denied inner expression it is easy to become trapped by addictions and compulsive behaviour. Whatever we couldn’t have as children we pursue in adulthood. It is this feeling of being deprived that creates an emotional energy that can affect our ability to focus, be disciplined and weigh up the cost of freedom and potential negative results.

In order to really experience freedom we have to develop the mental and psychological resource to be able to handle unlimited possibilities coupled with an unlimited freedom. Therefore to really achieve our goal of being free in whatever area we want freedom from relationships to personal, from career to finances we need to develop our inner self, develop processes to make good decisions and to develop discipline and focus.

We so easily compartmentalize our lives into different areas such as love, work, family, self, health etc. And then focus on one area at the expense of another.

How often have you worked hard and done well at work and yet your family life was falling apart? Or you have a great family life but your finances were on the brink of disaster?

At the beginning of the year we set ourselves New Year’s resolutions – these are often things that we would like to be or achieve in the next year. The idea is that we want to end the year in a different place to where we started the year. Yet when we get to the end of the year we are the same or maybe even worse off than when we started often feeling demoralized and disappointed.

Gaining control to make lasting changes

Success doesn’t start with gaining control over your love life, and then your family life and then your career. Success starts with doing small improvements everyday in every area.

It starts with making a decision to stand for one thing and then putting that thing into action for example: Are you going to stand for friendliness today? Then be a little bit friendlier in your love life, family life and career.  Are you going to stand for more smiles? Then smile more than you did yesterday in your love life, family life and career. See how much easier it becomes to work at improving every area without neglecting any?

What helped me: Having a Definite Purpose goal

I found it too hard to work on hundreds of goals.  I always seemed to work on one goal at the expense of another until I was told about to get a definite purpose goal. A definite purpose goal – is one goal that underpins all other goals.

For example last year I wanted to achieve success in my business, family life, running, eating, health, relationships and finance. But my definite purpose goal was a strong positive mindset that believed all things are possible. By working on my mindset the other things fell into place. And because I was working on my mindset and becoming aware of my personal actions, reactions and responses I achieved more than I had set out to do.

What are you going to stand for today that will take you one step closer to being the you, you can be?

Do you have a plan? I am not talking about goals now, I am talking about a plan on how to become everything you need to be in order to achieve your unlimited potential – and yes achieve your goals.

How are you going to live the next 10 years of your life?

Sad, depressed, broken, worrying, arguing, hating, bitter, building friendships, experiencing new cultures, being open, living second hand TV lives…?

If you want a different future, then what are you going to need to do different today in order to move towards the future you want? You see just saying you want something doesn’t mean you will get it. You can say affirmations till you have no breath left, unless you actually take the steps to live today to create your tomorrow, you will never achieve.

For example your goal might be to have a thin body – fit into a size 10 jeans, look good in a swimming costume and feel good about yourself. However, you still want to drink soda every day, eat cake, pastries and fast food. In other words you are not really committed to reaching your goal.

Or perhaps you don’t have a plan? Your plan in this case would incorporate how much you need to lose every week in order to lose the weight AND be able to maintain it. It needs to incorporate how you will achieve this, what areas are you weak in and what areas are you strong in, and you need to identify triggers and people you can be accountable to.

Your plan for success

1. What are you going to stand for today?
2. What are my personal rules that keep me from succeeding and taking action?
3. What one thing can I do today in each area of my life that will help me move forward?
4. What action am I going to take to change my behaviour

If you do not have the answers for these four simple but difficult questions, then you have no plan and are destined to fail.

As I mentioned in an earlier article there are five areas in life that we want to have mastery over namely: emotional, physical, relationship, finances and time in order to make quality changes in our lives.

In this article I am going to deal with mastering the last three areas: relationship, finances and time

Building Expert Relationship Skills

We can’t get away from relationships. Relationships are a part of our lives like breathing and eating are. Relationships can be romantic, family, business, casual, acquaintances, customers, social, competitive etc.

There is no where you can hide where you will not be required to have some kind of contact with another human being. As such if you don’t have mastery in this area you are going to have a very bump and miserable ride.

Understanding yourself, your rules and expectations, your reactions, your values is the first step to mastery. The second step is to understand how your rules relate to the people around you and how you react to other s. It is said that people are a mirror of what you are projecting. If you find people constantly aggressive, arrogant and unhelpful – the chances are 90% you are aggressive, arrogant and unhelpful and they are only responding in a defensive manner.

Building Expert Financial Skills

There is a statistic that says by the age of 65 years most people will either be broke or dead! Is this what you envision for yourself? Aren’t we all working towards that magical retirement age where we can do what we want, go on holiday, enjoy ourselves without a boss? Well, if you are the average income earner then this vision will always only be a vision and not a reality. And if you want to just survive then there is no reason to change. But if you have any dread or fear of ending up living from cheque to cheque (that is if you even get one!) scraping around to make ends meet having to rely on hand outs then let that motivate you to make every change you need to make in order to live a healthy and quality life.

Building Expert Time Skills

This is probably the hardest skill to master because we are talking about how short term pleasure can lead to long term pain. Do you like pain? Do you like discomfort? If you could have a choice between being uncomfortable, in pain, in a battle or having quiet, rest and comfort – which would you choose? If we are honest – then quiet and rest is what we will take. But will that give us long term rest? Sadly 90% of the time the answer is NO!

In order to master time you need to learn how to make real decisions while managing your desire for instant gratification.

You will need to learn how allow your ideas to grow and reach full fruition by sticking it out, persevering and even enduring.

Serene calmness, Samoa

Where do I start with change? How do I know what needs to change and how do I make change permanent?

Which leads me to ask why positive thinking works for a while and then fails? Is it will power, focus, imagination, determination etc that is lacking?

I started putting together a plan of what I wanted to achieve this year and stumbled on three areas:

• how do I measure change – how do I know I have reached my destination
• is it possible to live without the ego and do I want to?
• the very act of setting up a program to follow takes me away from the centredness, balance and relaxed lifestyle I am looking for and creates a timetable of measurement, doing, striving and achieving.

These are the three areas I need to work out this week as I decide where I want to go, what am I looking to achieve in the process, how do I want my life to be when I arrive ‘there’ and how do I make sure I don’t get caught up in will power and striving determination that will cause more stress instead of reducing stress.

Some thoughts of what I will include:

• Reading books by leading experts – Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and others
• Awareness – developed through meditation
• Learning and practicing how to mediate: creatively, on the breath, relaxation
• Meditative exercise such as yoga and/or tai chi
• Practicing the art of breathing
• Practicing the are of changing my physiology in order to change my state
• Small improvements every day

The struggle within

I am a perfectionist (is this a true statement? or is it just a lable that I have taken on that I have identified with? Has this label created liberation or restriction?) and already I feel the struggle in me. I want to set up a step by step plan, hour by hour of what I will do, how I will do it, what is expected and when it is expected by. The other side of me feels this is nullifying the very thing I am wanting to achieve, to allow myself to relax, to be in this moment without rushing to the next, to enjoy now while preparing for the future, to be responsible and happy and allow my creativity to flow.

Signing off now so that I can go and start my planing session. See you later on.

Am I mad? Yes probably, then again maybe not. However, I do have doubts right now as I sit and type this out. It is one thing making a decision it is another to commit it to paper. And somehow more frightening to commit it to a blog. Does anyone read this? I don’t know but somehow to have my intentions set out in such a way that it is accessible to the entire virtual world makes me feel vunerable.

What am I going on about?

I have just come back from two weeks in Samoa and saw a lifestyle that I want.

Samoan home

Their way of life changed my very core and belief system. I have set goals for a better life, a wealthier one, better standard of living. However, what I saw there made even a millionaire poor. Can money buy a smile, laughter, friendliness, peace, joy, family, community spirit, respect, self control? Can a better life really include anything less than living today, in this moment, content?

I asked every Samoan person I came across: what makes you so happy?
The answers:

• the guests are so friendly I can’t help being friendly
• it rained last night so we will have good food to eat
• it is sunny today – I love the sun
• it is windy today – it is blowing the dust away
• the moon is shining – it makes it so romantic
• my parents discipline me, I feel loved

and on it went…

I asked a few Samoans if they ever get sad:

How can I explain what their way of living did inside of me? The deep challenge that it put up before me? How their happiness contrasted so starkly with my western striving?

So I agreed to take the challenge that over the next 365 I would do two things:
One: leave my current employment (um… I am self employed already – but I would be leaving it anyway) and take up the challenge to start 6 new internet business – 3 every 6 months.
Two: to transform my thinking, beliefs and self image – not to just be more positive but to have a deep sense of contentment, peace and chilled out attitude.

I have taken the next week off to think it through, put a plan together of how I am going to achieve this challenge.

I am looking forward to it – but quite nervous. I welcome your support!

Have a vision! Get your definite purpose! Set your goals!

How often have you heard this? I have heard it plenty times and it has taken me almost three years to come up with my definite purpose. Here are some questions that I was given that have really helped me to hone my vision.

Answer these questions according to how you would like things to be in 5 years

Answer these questions:

Describe what your business is supplying. (your services and/or products)
Why do people buy from you? What are the benefits, what needs to you fulfil?
What are you most proud of?
What size will your business be? Number of staff, customers, turnover, branches or franchises
What difference do you make to customers lives?
How do you feel about your business?
What is it like being part of such a successful business?
What is the working environment like?
What are the values of the business?
What do you do for fun? At work and away from work?
What is the role of your business now?
What role would you like your business to have?
What would you like to achieve?
How will you be able to contribute to the community?

Here is a short version of my vision statement for my business:

Vision:
Join ‘marketing web sites’ with ‘passion to help people’
Improve people’s lives and the quality of their lives.

Mission Statement:
Help companies increase their sales revenue by building a web site that fits into their sales plan and budget to generate new business through the internet. To provide a platform of knowledge which opens businesses up to all opportunities available to establish themselves as market leaders, increasing their credibility, reputation and sales.

Do you know where your destination is? Do you know how to get there? What is your definite purpose or your definite goal?

I have floated through life with the attitude of whatever will be will be. Everything will work out and I will get to where I want to be in the end. I may take some detours but I will get there. Then been frustrated and disappointed, blaming everything from my garden to the weather for where I am …