Audacious Freedom Live anywhere. Travel everywhere.

To be able to achieve beyond our limiting boundaries our primary goal had to be learning to think like a winner; learning to think like an achiever.

Being cheeky I would say that we spend over 50% of our wakeful time living out thinking patterns and beliefs that are exactly opposite to the way successful people think.

Successful people have learnt ways of thinking that are quite unique:

1. They don’t take part in thinking that is destructive, unhelpful or doesn’t result in a positive action plan.
2. They are consistent in their thinking and behaviour – they don’t feel loved one minute and unloved the next. They are centred and know what they need to hold on to in order to get where they want to be.
3. Successful people don’t get up in the morning moaning about the weather, the fact that it is unfair they have to catch a taxi that didn’t arrive, think about how bad work is and that people are unhelpful. They look for opportunities, they use their time to build themselves or others up, they monitor and review their attitudes, conversations and reactions.
4. They have practiced the ability to act without fear and yet not be reckless.
5. They have dealt with the attitudes of fear, ‘being a victim’, ‘it is out of their control’, ‘approval addictions’ etc
6. They have developed restraint. They have the internal discipline to counter act the negative effects of euphoria and overconfidence.

If we want to create consistency and progress towards our full potential then we will have to develop the mindset of a successful person. We will need to find people that are successful in areas that we want to be and follow their example. At the end of the day you cannot moan or be envious about what someone else has achieved if you are unwilling to put in the same time and effort as what they did, to get where they are.

Is it easy or hard to change? There are examples all around us of people that have succeeded far beyond what we can imagine. How did they get there? I have heard countless stories of people at the top of their game that for one reason or another lost it all. They landed up on the street, about to end it all when something happened that changed it all around. After a certain length of time they were successful, financially stable and following their dream. How did they go from zero to hero? What changed?

Our internal conversation

Everything starts with a thought. Our beliefs and actions all come from the thoughts we consistently think. If I could listen to all your thoughts for an hour would it leave me happy, agitate, at peace, angry, uplifted or sad? If it would leave me sad and depressed then no wonder you are sad and depressed! Would you be embarrassed if I could tune in and listen to every conversation you have with yourself in your head?

Does your thinking follow well worn paths of defeatist and negative thinking? Your immediate answer might be no. But have a think about this. What does your external environment say about you? Have you achieved your dreams or are you held back? Are you in a relationship that is fulfilling, fun and rewarding or disappointed and lonely? Do you have a gnawing feeling that there has got to be more to life or have you reached every mountain peak you would like to climb?

At least 80% of today’s population is following standard thinking norms that are taking them further away from the fulfilment of their needs without even realising that what is going on inside their heads, the conversations they are having with themselves are the reason they are living a mediocre life.

Change won’t happen without awareness

In order to change you need to be aware that something is wrong. You probably know something is wrong because you are looking for answers to help you. The problem is most of us look for answers and either don’t like what we heard, don’t put it into practice or think it is too hard. To create lasting change you will need the desire to learn; the willingness to change the conversation and thought patterns in your head. You will also need the motivation to restructure and install new beliefs and attitudes.

I am assuming that you (like me) want to live beyond the limits of this ordinary life of drudgery and want to achieve your full potential to live a rich and exciting life. We probably don’t even realise the range of opportunities open to us. However, in order to begin to experience our potential our primary goal has to be: to think like a successful person.

This landed up in my inbox. I was about to delete it as spam when the words ‘keep all clutter away’ caught my eye. I thought at the very least I will read the first line. I read the whole thing. What would our lives be like if we applied the triple test filter?

And just to ensure that I am not stealing anybody elses’ work I would like to say thank you to nachiketan2001 for bringing this to my attention. And if anyone does know the true source of this I will gladly add it to this post.

The triple filter test

The triple filter test – A practice to be adopted to keep all clutter away… In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued.

“Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test though,because there is a third filter – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really…”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem…

How about we take this a bit further and apply the triple test on what we are about to say too? Is what we are about to share – true, good and useful to our listener? If not – best we shut up then!

How made would you be if your special friend response to your last remark was: “Honestly, nobody really cares what you think!”

Do you:

a) scream
b) slam the door
c) leave
d) cry
e) all of the above?

Maybe I am too passive, but I did none of the above just remained in stunned silence. Maybe I am finally growing up? I didn’t react by throwing a ‘nobody loves me tantrum’, getting defensive, enraged and hurt. But it did make me think. And I have thought about it quite a bit.

How often do I throw my opinion round? Blush Blush… Too often! I have an opinion for everything from buying a house to wearing makeup. From eating to exercising to health in general. If you need to know something – I know the answer. Or if I don’t I will find it. I don’t have children but I can tell you how to be a good parent. I don’t teach but I have an opinion on the best ways to teach and what schools should teach the kids.

I have opinions about things that don’t concern me at all. I listen to heavy metal – you listen to classical. So that makes me ‘in’ ‘with it’ ‘modern’ and you ‘old fashioned’ ‘boring’ and no ‘understanding of true craftsmanship’. True? I like meditating in silence but you like meditating with soft music, candle lit room and crystals. That means you are new age, getting to weird religious activity and it is best to get out before you are caught in a cult and I am scientific. True?

So just maybe my special friend was right. And not only may this person have been right but what if my opinions are stopping me from exploring a beautiful world? That means my opinions are working against me in two ways – I have a superiority attitude: I know and I am right and it has narrowed my lifestyle quality.

Taking this from thought to paper is actually more painful and embarrassing than when it was just going on in my head – because I am now admitting that I do this. I also have to admit that for most part not only don’t people really care about what I think – they really don’t want to hear what I think too.  Ouch!

I just can’t get away from the power of thoughts. Everywhere I look at the moment whether on YouTube, bookstores, adverts , even the placemat at the restaurant we went to on Saturday night there is a reminder to think positively.

In his book ‘Body, Mind and Spirit’ Dr Elwood Worcester relates an experiment that a scientist did on himself. He decided to test the theory of positive thinking. He was going through a mid-life crisis and feeling disheartened that none of his studies had ever been published. Basically he felt like his life had been worthless.

He decided for one month he would experiment with positive thoughts. Here were his rules:

• He would direct his attention to what was good
• He would ignore everything that wasn’t good or useful
• If he thought of the past he would only think of happy times
• In thinking of the present he would think only of desirable things
• When thinking about the future he would think about possibilities that were commendable.

This scientist tells how stupid it seemed but once he was committed to it, he treated it like any other experiment. Taking notes, making comparisons and ensuring that the boundaries were in place all the time.

What is fascinating is at the end of the 30 days he realised that his aim had been too low, that his headaches had ceased and he felt good about himself.

‘The outward changes of my life, resulting from my change of thought have surprised me more than the inward changes, yet they spring from the latter.’

If we would only do the same what heights could we reach?

Over the last couple of days I have been letting the question: ‘what is it that I saw in Samoa that challenge me?’

They have a simpler lifestyle; they have a community styled lifestyle where hanging out with friends and family are very important. The family supports each other, helps with childcare, collecting food etc. Even though they are poor compared to our standards they were much happier as a general population. They also seem to be less hurried, less worried, way less stressed and less time conscious.

In Savaii where we were staying the children were out collecting coconuts – these coconuts were used as “ball’s” and when playtime was over served as their drinks. We saw 10 year olds head off at 10pm in the evening to go fishing for a few hours. At sunset the local teenagers would head off to the sea and spent the lays few moments of the day in the water talking, splashing, and singing.

Their singing amazed me. I have never seen so many people spontaneously sing, whether they were in a group or alone, working or playing, walking or sitting and this includes men and women, teenage guys and girls too.

Are there undercurrents in perfection?

Yet would they not have the same or similar aspirations as we do? Would they not want to get into a better financial position – which is possibly the reason, so many leave and go to New Zealand or Australia? There must still be the fight for top dog and hierarchy of importance – they have chiefs, talking chiefs, family heads, chief’s children etc. They also have the day to day living. They would experience routine though simpler than here. There are basic things that no matter where we are still have to get done i.e. clothes to wash, food to gather and cook, house to clean, work in the plantations or fixing and repairing structures.

Possibilities?

Is it possible that what I experienced is the result of living in less clutter and no real expectations? The freedom of being barefoot all the time even at dinner (the experience of sitting down to eat at a table and yet still being able to bury your feed in sea sand is a wonderful, freeing experience.) or the not having to dress up? I had a lava lava (a type of wrap round skirt) and that is what I lived in. When it got dirty it got washed in the sea. Clashing clothes was acceptable and the first time I did this it was very uncomfortable and I was initially (I doubt anyone noticed except maybe the tourists and I think for most part they were too busy enjoying the freedom to notice).

For me there was no competitiveness, no reason ‘to put on a show’ and pretend, there was no pressure and we just had to fit in with the Samoan time schedule – which meant when it was time to eat they would call us, when the ferry left that is what time it would be departing etc. There was no room for striving just for enjoying, smiling, talking and listening to the songs the Samoans would sing.

I think the biggest thing that happened is instead of my 20 min meditation practice which is really the only time I live with a decluttered mind – I was living my whole day with an uncluttered mind . And it is this notion that has made the biggest impact on me.

The beeping clock has survived the weekend and is safely in my office to remind me to take time out to think about what and how I am thinking…

I had two things happen over the weekend that I thought I would share with you today.

Lazy thinking

The first is I realised just how lazy I am when it comes to thinking. I love dreaming and I can start a dream as I fall asleep, continue while I am asleep and then continue it the next day while doing mundane chores. Now I like this…

However here is the problem:

• this type of purposeful dreaming interferes with my sleep and I don’t sleep as well.
• during the day it keeps my mind occupied and caught up so that I am unaware of the present and what is going on.
• And the dreams aren’t taking me closer to my goals

This is an important issue. If we are to make progress, and if we want to achieve our goals, and if we want quality of life then we need to be considering what our mind is holding onto for the majority of the time. This doesn’t mean I can’t dream. It just means I need to be more purposeful in what I thinking and what I am allowing my mind to dwell on hour after hour.

Internal belief vs my goals

The second thing I realised: I have an image inside of me of ‘who I am’ which is very different from the image I want to be. Now this has taken a while to admit and get honest about. However, in one of my dreams I was thinking of something when it struck me that I have a very weak view of myself – which is completely contrary to the ‘me’ I want to be.

Swish pattern to the rescue

When I realised this I decided to use a technique that I learnt through a Tony Robbins course called the Swish pattern. The basic idea of the swish pattern is to ‘scratch’ a memory to such a point that it no longer affects you any way. This is similar to the idea of scratching a record or DVD to such a degree that it is no longer playable.

I modified this slightly – in my left hand I held the internal image of myself. I noted the look on my face, the colours, the sounds, the people interaction, my posture and the condition of my body (health wise). Briefly this image was weak, cowering, afraid and dependant on people for validation.

In my right hand I held the image of myself as I really want to be. Again I noted the colours, my face, my posture etc. Briefly this in this image I was smiling and twirling enjoying the moment.

I then ‘poured’ the right hand image into the left hand image until change started taking place. I will need to do this a couple more times, however now when I call up the internal image huge changes have already taken place. Externally, I can feel I am more positive and even now with a business deal gone bad I am able to be relaxed and know that it will work out.

Now that I am purposely taking the time to declutter my mind I am finding things that I don’t really want to know. And yet as I deal with it and learn to be quiet and focus I am finding that change is happening.

This is one thing I would encourage you to try – take time out to think about what you are thinking.

The beeping clock is definitely becoming my friend – though I have had to rescue it a couple of times from my husband’s hands. Though I haven’t actually taken the 5 minutes every hour this weekend, that beep constantly reminds me to check in and think about what I am thinking.

The practice of becoming aware

Without awareness there can be no change. I am fully convinced of this. If I don’t know then how can I do anything about it? And if I don’t know that I don’t know – then what hope do I have? However, awareness is not pretty! And I would take a guess that it is the potential ugliness of that awareness that often stops us from exploring our minds and our thoughts. It is far easier to shut off and keep busy, than to stop and discipline our thoughts.

Awareness and meditation

I have been practicing meditation now on and off for a year and it definitely has made a difference. I am far more aware of what I am thinking. I notice my emotions and feelings more often and can take action. However, it hasn’t made as big a difference as it could because I do a lot more talking about it than doing. Again for the simple reason that it is difficult. Yet once I am doing it I really enjoy it.

If this was a Prescription?

A couple of months ago I went for acupuncture. One of the things that I needed to do was breathing exercises. I didn’t have enough oxygen in my blood. 3 appointments later and very little improvement I got a stern talking to from the acupuncturist – If he had prescribed medication to be taken four times a day would I have taken them? Yes! Well… why was I not doing that which he had prescribed?

Laziness? Effort? Time? Forgetfulness? No motivation? Inconvenience?

All of the above and this applies to my practice of becoming aware of and changing my thoughts. The same applies to you. If we want to change, then we have to start with our thoughts. And unless we are willing to put the effort in, we can never expect to be more than we are, be more more successful than we are or have the quality of life we want.

Well that didn’t go very well. Yesterday I came up with the idea of setting a reminder to remind me to check in with my thoughts every hour and see what I am thinking. The problem is that once I finished writing the post, checking my email, answering the phone and making tea I completely forgot to set the clock.

It was only as I was cooking last night that I realised that not once had I even thought about what I was thinking. And looking back most of what I was thinking seemed to be related to working. Yet, I did notice as I was peeling the carrots and clearing up that my mind was restless with some agitated thoughts going round. Thoughts of unfairness and difficulty’s, thoughts directed at my situation and how I was a ‘victim’

So how long had I been thinking about that and did those thoughts have anything to do with my abrupt and irritated attitude. I know the answer – you don’t have to rub it in.

My new trick

Taking action I got took a clock from home which beeps every hour and put it in my office. Now I have a beeping reminder every 4 minutes past the hour to check in on my thoughts.

So what happened? Did it work?

Okay did I tell you that I need to go to the shop and that I would be out the rest of the day? You still here… waiting for my answer?

Okay – uh the beep got my attention. Three times I took action – that is I stopped thought about what I was thinking for all of 1 minute and then went right back to doing what I was doing.

I didn’t expect the discipline of stopping to actually be as difficult as it is. I thought it would be the thinking part that was difficult. After all don’t we all just love excuses to sit back and relax for 5 minutes?

The weekend

I am not sure which is going to be more challenging. Checking in on my thoughts at work or at home. Anyhow, I have packed the clock back into my bag to take home. I realise that in order to make the changes I need I cannot just do them when they are convenient for me. I have to be making small improvements every day all the time.

Doing a little bit is far easy than one big huge massive effort. And has longer and better results.

How many thoughts can I think per minute?

Why would I even ask this question? Here is how I got there – this is the power of thought association.

I just read a blog article on how many hours of our life are spent working in a job, complaining, bored and stressed. My first question is – if you are not enjoying yourself – why stay? My next question is – can I change my experience by changing my thoughts thereby enjoying the hours I work? Which led to the next question – how many hours of thinking do I do?

A quick google search brought up some interesting answers – the best being at this point in time there isn’t a machine to acurately measure how many thoughts a person has per minute of their life. That being true (and probably is) is no fun for me. How can I measure anything when there is no known quantity.

Other estimates are 1 thought every 15 seconds all the way through to 1 thought per minute. I think the problem is how do measure what is one thought – because a thought could be as short as ‘I need to buy bread’ or as long winded as ‘when I buy bread I need to put petrol in, get hair cut and oh yes rugby tickets are on sale and so is that satin dress I want’. One thought or two thoughts or more?

What I also found intriguing in my search was that at no point is the thought process still. Which means we are continuously thinking whether we are aware or it or not. That means maybe as much of 80% of my time is spent in thought that I am totally unaware of. And going to sleep doesn’t count – because even when we sleep it seems we have thoughts.

So lets say that the rough estimate is 1 thought every 30 seconds. And lets say that approximately 5 hours a day you are aware of your thinking, focusing your thinking or in that part of sleep that no thought may exist… then (I am not a mathematician but here it goes):

1 thought every 30 second = 2 thoughts every minute
2 thoughts a minute = 120 thoughts an hour
120 thoughts an hour = 2280 thoughts a day

We could carry on and work out how many thoughts a year and in a life time, but for now per day is enough for me. Anyway the calculations are arbitrary but telling.

If I spend 19 hours a day producing thoughts that are not controlled, allowing my mind to wander from any subject to any subject, without censoring the subjects value, worth, effect on my life, positive or negative influence then what is the real impact that my thoughts are having. And if I spend 8 hours a day in an unhappy job environment and I allow my thoughts to feed off that unhappy negativity then according to our calculations I will have produced 960 negative unconscious thoughts that are affecting my well being, my happiness, my relationships and my creativity.

Then 1 thought that is positive is not going to change my life! Neither will 1 hour!

Before we throw in the towel and quit

Those statistics reveal two things to me – 1) that it is pointless trying to change my thoughts by only trying once! and 2) it is no wonder that I have all these emotional ups and downs that I sometimes have no explanation for.

If 80% or maybe more I am unaware of what I thinking and my mind can act like an unruly child with no discipline. Then is it possible to take 5 min every hour to set my intention to only think positive thoughts and to check in with what I am thinking?

Becoming more practical

Building on yesterday this what I will do over the next week – set a reminder every hour so that I can take those 5 min. In 7 days I will give you the verdict and then if it has made a difference, you might like to try it out yourself and let me know if it worked for you.